in which i keep reminding myself, i AM a runner

i casually started working out again a couple weeks ago. by casually, i mean i took walks with the kids. and, last week, i even walk-jogged on treadmill (meaning, i walked more than i jogged).

but yesterday? yesterday was the day. the day i laced up my shoes and decided to run outside. run is a term i use loosely right now. merely seven weeks after birthing a beautiful baby. the first time in ten months. ladies (and Dad), it was tough.

i non-ran for 30 minutes, but didn't even hit three miles, a fact that will not be repeated on this blog. i am sloooooooow, y'all. i ran along my normal route, remembering the sidewalk cracks and places the pavement needs to be repaired. it was a muggy afternoon and i was sweaty before i hit the first corner. i felt very un-attractive, what all red-faced and glistening in my form-fitting fitness attire.

but you know what? i felt good.

well, not really good good. i won't feel that for awhile. but, it felt good to be really working out, getting my heart pumping, doing something physically challenging. which, honestly, is why i kept going. i kept thinking, if i can run a marathon, i can do this.


and i did finish. i plan to do the same tomorrow.

i run for cari. and for tina.

i discovered over the last few weeks that when you take an unexpected blogging hiatus, it’s difficult to get back into a rhythm. what to say? i have a lot to write about. and i guess i’ll just take it once step at a time and catch you up on our life over the next several days. or weeks, as the case may be.

the marathon was pretty amazing. yes, i finished it. yes, it was one of the most difficult things i’ve ever done. but, it was somehow fun, too. weird, i know.

my running buddy, kiley, and her husband chad picked me up early sunday morning so that michael and luke didn’t have to fight the crowds at the starting line. it was a really warm day for december. i think the temperature at the start was around 50 degrees. when i finished, it was probably around 70. that’s hot for such a long run. and, it was insanely windy. which is never fun for long runs.

we hydrated. and used the port-o-lets. we prayed together as a staff. and then we were off.

it was a really fun run through downtown dallas – and the weather was beautiful at the beginning, even with the wind. the first half of the half-marathon is run along the marathon course, so we saw several of our co-workers. we cheered for steve as he pushed tina along in her special chair. i also noticed that our first several splits were much slower than i anticipated (maybe 30 seconds). probably all due to the wind. seriously, it was brutal.

michael, luke, my sister and her roommate were planning to see us at miles 4, 8, 12 and 22. we planned to walk every 5 miles. and, at first, we did really well that way. we made it all the way to the lake (10 miles) only walking once. but around the lake the wind really picked up – though i didn’t know it was possible. and, it got much hotter and kiley doesn’t do well running in the heat. so after walking at mile 10, we also walked at mile 12. and 14. i have no doubt that the wind was gusting at 40 mph. it was wicked, almost blowing me sideways at times. around mile 13, i quit tracking our pace.

we saw chad at mile 14. the heat and wind were really beating kiley at that point. we ran together for two more miles. and then, when she had to walk again, she told me to keep going. with a bit of disappointment that we wouldn’t finish together, i kept going.

even though i wasn’t running with kiley, there were a lot of people still cheering me on. i passed chad again around mile 19. five of our coworkers were running a relay that went a long the marathon course so every five miles or so, the group of them would be waiting for their next runner and cheering like crazy for us. seeing ginny and emily’s wide eyes and huge grins definitely boosted me each time i saw them.

the next three miles around the lake weren’t too tough. mostly flat, or down hill. but the wind never let up, so it wasn’t easy. after the lake come the dolly parton hills, where guys with huge balloons in their t-shirts cheered us on. and then the next couple miles through a residential area, until at least mile 22, were up hill. at that point, i thought my quads, which had never hurt before when running, might give out. but, many of the residents came out to cheer on runners and it encouraged me to keep going.

i kept looking for michael, telling myself that when i saw him i could walk a minute. i passed the place i thought he’d be and ran a little farther without seeing him, so i walked. a mile later, the course went passed the seminary where several of our friends, and my cheerleading crew were waiting for me – with a glass of starbucks water, my favorite.

michael had changed his clothes and was running the last three miles with me. at that point, i could talk just fine, but my legs would barely move. i think michael was amused that my mouth was running so much faster than my body.

we ran passed the birth center where luke was born. michael asked which was harder. without a doubt, unmedicated childbirth is more difficult than running a marathon. if i had wanted to quit running, i could have. in childbirth, you can’t quit.

throughout the entire marathon, everytime i wanted to walk, i prayed for cari. and for tina. the first 13 miles honestly weren’t horrible. but the last six, i prayed a lot. i thought a lot about how life is a marathon. we’re urged to run with endurance the race marked out for us. we don’t get to chart the course, to choose the flattest land or the easiest weather. and, my friends can’t quit. they have to keep going despite the challenges and the grief. and, honestly, that kept me going. if my friends can’t quit, i won’t quit. with tears brimming in my eyes, i told michael, i run for cari. and for tina.

mile 25 goes right by our church, again downtown. several of our friends had stayed after church to wait for me and cheer me on. i loved seeing them! michael kept trying to encourage me to pick up the pace for the end, but i just couldn’t much. i ran the last three miles at about 11 minutes per mile.

and as the finish line came into sight, something magical happened to my legs. it was as if new life was put into them. i was able to finish at an amazing pace. at least, it felt amazing. there weren’t a lot of people finishing with me and it was so awesome to hear the announcer call my name as i crossed the line.

and then, it was over. yes, there were lots of hugs and congratulations and pats on the back. but really, it was kind of anticlimactic for me.

granted, running a marathon is an amazing accomplishment. one that i might not ever do again, though i still enjoy running. i ran several times over christmas, but have only laced up my shoes once since arriving back in dallas. but that, my bloggy friends, is for the next post . . .

so, maybe i am a runner

i have a confession: unless you live near us, or are related to michael or me, you might not realize that i'm running marathon on sunday. a real-live 26.2-mile marathon.

yes, i realize i'm insane.

two years ago, i started running again, after retiring from my running career at the end of seventh grade. i've never really been a runner but i wanted to be intentional to work-out and running is something michael and i can do together. by together, i mean that we run at the same time, not next to each other. apparently, i run too slow for michael to run with me.

but don't worry, i'm not bitter. anymore.

so, two years ago, we bought each other running shoes for an early christmas present and began running. we set the goal to run a half-marathon in late spring and began training. i learned that i really like running if i'm not concerned about my speed (see above comment about being "slow").

and then, i went and got pregnant. according to our ob, it wasn't a problem for me to run the half-marathon. just don't get your heart-rate too high, she said. as long as i felt well, i could complete the half.

but then, i went and got morning sickness. which apparently can sometimes act like all-day sickness. and so, with six weeks left to train, my half-marathon goal went out the window. it's hard to get motivated to run when you feel like leaving your stomach on the sidewalk.

but, i wanted to run a half-marathon before we move from dallas. i wanted to get back into my new-ish sport. there is a popular marathon here in december which includes a half. so, i decided that's what i'd run.

i hadn't yet started my training when in may, my company took us on a staff retreat. part of the retreat was focused on helping us to grow as individuals in several areas of our lives, including our physical health. ceo stan challenged us to run the marathon i already was thinking about. i figured it'd be fun to run the half with my co-workers.

but, several weeks later, stan stopped me. the half doesn't sound like a katherine thing to do, he said. you need to do the full thing. i still think he's crazy.

here i am, though, less than a week from the starting line, having trained for about five months. throughout all this time, i've wanted to write here about it. training for something this difficult and time-consuming has really given me a lot to think about and process. thoughts i've wanted to share with you.

but, when it comes down to it, training for this marathon has also been intensely personal, in a way i didn't expect. my real-life friends know i'm running and often ask about my long runs (how much did you run this week?), but aside from that, it's been tough to talk about this feat with anyone but my running partner, kiley (who, thanks to this challenge, is running her second marathon this year). it feels like bragging to just announce, i spent my morning training for something that only 1% of americans ever accomplish. what did you do today?

and so, i've been mostly quiet about this big deal. but there you have it. with only five days before the gun goes off, i've broken the silence.

wish me luck.

to continue the theme. . .

of running, that is . . .

i bought a new pair of shoes in honor of my marathon training. i actually bought them because my feet pronate slightly and i'll kill my knees if i keep running in my old shoes. ladies and gentlemen, friends and readers of all ages, i present my brandnew asic 2130s:

my shoes are a pretty white, black & cherry, though, which is an important distinction.

my new kicks arrived in the mail yesterday and so i brocked them in this morning. as a kid growing up, my dad always used to tease me when i got new tennis shoes. "show me how fast they make you run. how high can you jump now?" even as a kid, i knew that shoes don't make an athlete.

or do they?

i got up at 6am this morning to run before michael and luke got up. i rubbed the sleep from my eyes, popped my earbuds in my ears and laced up my new shoes. and, i took off.

i knew when i started that i was running faster than normal. seriously. i couldn't believe it! as i neared the park i usually run by, i knew i was ahead of my normal time. and then, i looked at my watch: 8:45. over a minute faster than normal.

and the only thing different was my shoes.

20-odd years later, i must admit, my dad was right afterall.

maybe i should attempt to break the world record in the high jump.

sorry, ms. hunter, i am not a runner

this post was originally written in july 2005 for my first blog. i'm reposting it here in honor of the fact that i am now training for a real-life, 26.2-mile marathon (did i really just say that out-loud?!). my how my life has changed.

there is a misunderstanding i need to clear up.

i am not a runner.

i'm sure you think i'm joking. unless you're a runner yourself, you probably assume that anyone can run. but, i'm serious. i've worn the runner's mask at various times since seventh grade. but, honestly, it's never really fit. i ran track and cross-country. when the mood struck me, i ran in college. lisa and i ran on ateneo's campus in manila. last fall, i thought i wanted to run the imogene pass run in telluride, colo and so i started "training" for this fall. my husband bought me running shorts. i even ran a race on thanksgiving day.

but, ladies and gentlemen, i am not a runner.

the entire charade began fourteen years ago, on the first day of ms. hunter's language arts class. to introduce ourselves, we had to describe ourselves with a noun. "i'm josh and i'm a saxophone player." "i'm alisa and i'm a girl."

i was the last student in the class to introduce myself. as most seventh graders, i was already terribly self-conscious. and, slowly but surely, my classmates took the words i would have chosen. saxophone player. reader. tennis player. writer. my mind raced to find a word i could use. as i listened to the other students, a great word flashed into my mind -- a word no one else would take.

megan solberg and i were the last to introduce ourselves. we'd been friends since second grade and i knew she wanted to run cross-country. it was clear which word she would use.

and then she said, "i'm megan and i'm a walker."

she had stolen my word. i stammered to find the only other noun left to possibly describe myself: a runner. to my chagrin, ms. hunter was the seventh grade cross-country coach. thus began my running career.

sorry, ms. hunter. i am not a runner.

this non-runner went non-running yesterday afternoon. it was hot. i hate non-running in the heat. i went about 1 1/4 miled out, turned around and came home -- 2.5 miles is nothing for a real runner. but, my face must have been red. i was hot and tired. sweat was running down my forehead and into my eyes. suffice to say i wasn't looking my fittest or clocking my best time. it was pathetic.

and then about four blocks from home, i passed this older-middle-aged man. probably late 50s, early 60s. gray hair. wearing a hat and shorts. his t-shirt was sweaty. most likely, he'd been working outside.

i had never seen him before.

as i passed him, i managed to say "excuse me." with a smile in his voice (i didn't look back to see if he was actually smiling), he said, "go for it!"

three little words. you wouldn't believe how much taller i ran. or, how much quicker i moved my feet. i breathed a little more easily. i think i even smiled. three little words.

and, for a couple minutes, i actually felt like a runner.