30til30: day 1, bobby joiner and indiana winter camp

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 1: bobby joiner and indiana winter camp

i told my parents when i was five that i wanted to trust Christ for salvation (i’m sure those were my exact words…). i had a vague understanding that i had done bad things and that Jesus could save me from being forever separated from God that through his death on the cross. i didn’t experience a radical transformation and i didn’t learn much, if anything, about what it meant to have a relationship with Christ.

that all changed when we began attending grace church.

my family began to attend grace evangelical church when i was 16, at the end of my sophomore year of high school. i began realizing that my friends were different from me – sure, we all knew the sunday school answers to questions asked of us, but they seemed to have something i didn’t. i slowly began to realize that was a relationship with Christ.

it was tradition at our church to go to a week long camp over the new year, indiana winter camp – like summer youth camp, but in the middle of the midwest winter. while it was certainly geared toward high school kids, it was a “family camp,” so a lot of families with children and adults came as well.

since i never missed an opportunity to be with my new friends, i signed up for camp immediately.

that year, bobby joiner came to camp as our guest speaker.

i don’t remember what bobby looks like. i honestly don’t remember a lot of what he talked about that night. but i do remember being at a point that i didn’t know how to make my rebellious relationship with my parents better. i remember bobby talking about his own relationship with his dad – and the struggles he’d had. i also clearly remember thinking, if his life isn’t perfect, but he knows God the way he does, maybe i too can have a relationship with God like that – before i “clean up” my life.

i remember it being a very emotional moment for me. i cried a lot, but couldn’t explain what was happening in my heart. however, as i look back, that was certainly the point where i surrendered my life to what Christ would have for me…and allowed him to take the reins – in my relationships at school, with my parents, with my future.

that cold evening, in a small chapel in the middle of the woods, changed my life more than any moment before or since. i wouldn’t have made many of the decisions i’ve made if it hadn’t been for that night. this list would be filled with very different things if God hadn’t captured my attention through bobby. i most likely wouldn’t be married to the best man to ever come into my life if it hadn’t been for bobby’s commitment to speak the Truth.

i am forever grateful for the faithfulness of a man whose face i don’t even remember.

30til30: day 2, michael

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 2: michael

december 27, 2003. it changed my life. it’s the day that i promised to love and respect the man i thought i loved. i had no idea what real love was – and am only now really beginning to understand – but with everything i am, i pledged my life to michael that day.

i’ve never looked back.

yes, there have been some difficult moment over the last five-and-a-half years – we’re both first-born, after all. but the good moments have far surpassed the tough ones. that warm december day, i married my lover and my best friend.

i cannot imagine life without michael. we laugh. we cry. he knows what makes me happy and what grates on my nerves. he challenges me. he encourages me. as a stubborn, first-born child, i needed to marry a man who would be a strong leader. and he is.

he loves me for my quirks, which means i don’t have to try to hide them.

he challenges me to pursue others. we recently had the opportunity to reach out to someone whose personality clashes with mine. he encouraged me and prayed for me until i told him the other day i now enjoy being with this person.

he knows i love decaf tall nonfat vanilla lattes. and occasionally hands me three bucks to buy one.

he leads our family well. he knows what areas of parenting will be tough for me (discipline is currently foremost among them) and he intentionally sets the pace in those areas. as we look to where God would have us move, he is leading our family in the direction he believes is best.

i trust him. how can i not when i know that he will put my needs (and sometimes desires) before his own? but, he is strong enough to not let me have my way when what i want isn’t what’s best.

i love you, babe. thanks for choosing me almost six years ago!

it’s been the best six years of my life.

30til30: day 3, mom

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 3: mom

writing succinctly about the ways your parents have impacted you is not easy.

i quite obviously wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my mom. i was born when the option to choose life for your child was becoming en vogue. my mom had been a career woman and not every woman in her shoes might have chosen to birth the little one inside her. as a mom myself, the idea to abort a baby is horrific, but it’s not what every woman chooses. my mom had a choice.

when i was born, my parents made the decision that my mom would give up a well-paying career as a chemist in order to raise me and my sisters. it’s a decision they made that i’ve never regretted – and will soon emulate.

my mom invested in us as children. she poured her life into shaping our character and morals. she taught us to love singing and playing and cooking. she made play-dough. she ran the three miles with me my dad required before i started karate lessons. she nurtured my creativity by setting places for my pretend friends at the dinner table.

my mom believed in me. she hugged me through my first broken heart. and again the night michael broke up with me.

over the last 30 years, my mom has encouraged me. challenged me. spurred me on. loved me. she has stood beside me through tough decisions. she has cheered me on. in more ways than she’ll ever know.

i love you, mom. thanks for helping me be me.

30til30: day 4, dad

so, we took a great memorial day getaway to cloudcroft, new mexico with several of our friends. i tried to get ahead and it just didn’t happened, so now i’m playing catch-up. i do plan to have this series wrapped up by monday (june 1!), i’m just not sure how all that is going to work out. but regardless, this was the post planned for thursday, may 28.

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i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 4: dad

i was born the year my dad turned 30. the oldest of three girls. we grew up in a very loving home. having grown up rather poor, my dad did his best to provide us with everything he could – which was quite a bit – without spoiling us.

when i was nine, dad entered me in a contest to win free karate lessons. before i could officially enroll in class at the studio, he wanted me to prove my perseverance – at nine years old, i had to run three miles without stopping. if i wasn’t tenacious before, i became so that night.

from my dad, i learned the value of hard work. we spent hours slaving away in the yard and gardens. in fact, our neighbor occasionally teased that there are such things as child labor laws. we worked hard, but we certainly weren’t abused. though dad wanted us to never go without, we still had to earn our way to camps and other activities. working in the yard was one way we earned money for those things.

my dad is also one of the most generous people i know. he paid for (private) college for each of us girls. each of us had a car to drive when we turned 16. every time michael and i are in town, he takes us out to eat.

my dad is loyal and faithful, especially to his family (a characteristic rebecca inherited). While he might not always agree with the choices his siblings or his girls make, he will support us regardless.

i did well when i chose to marry a man very much like my father.

i love you, dad.

30til30:day 5, suzanne michelle

so, we took a great memorial day getaway to cloudcroft, new mexico with several of our friends. i tried to get ahead and it just didn’t happened, so now i’m playing catch-up. i do plan to have this series wrapped up by monday (june 1!), i’m just not sure how all that is going to work out. but regardless, this was the post planned for wednesday, may 27.

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i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 5: suzanne michelle

the addition of suzanne to our family was traumatic for me. i was a verbal 29 months when she was born. and, i wasn’t happy to give up my ownship of our parents. my very first memory surrounds her birth. and, competing for our mom’s attention began a cycle that took 20 years to break.

for years, we competed over everything. because we were less than three years apart, we had many of the same friends (who were often siblings themselves). we took piano lessons together – and suzanne was better than me. we had many of the same teachers in school – and suzanne made straight A’s.

though we played together as children, once i got to be a teenager, we didn’t spend much time together. suzanne has a very acute sense of justice and didn’t like that our parents occasionally treated us differently – especially if she felt i got the better end of a deal. but that, in fact, is what finally brought us together.

i had just graduated college and was about to spend the summer living at home before i moved to the philippines. i don’t remember what happened, but we blew up at each other over something that suzanne didn’t think was fair. for the first time, mom made us genuinely work out the conflict.

and we’ve been fast friends ever since.

suzanne challenges me. we are very different, both in how we look and how we act – most people don’t even think we’re related. she sees things different from me. i appreciate that she wants to live honestly and authentically. she's willing to deal with difficult situations and conversations and doesn’t easily back down from what she believes to be true.

i admire suzanne and her relationship with Christ. her willingness to walk with others inspires me.

30til30: day 6, rebecca rose

so, we took a great memorial day getaway to cloudcroft, new mexico with several of our friends. i tried to get ahead and it just didn’t happened, so now i’m playing catch-up. i do plan to have this series wrapped up by monday (june 1!), i’m just not sure how all that is going to work out. but regardless, this was the post planned for tuesday, may 26.

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i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 6: rebecca rose

i was five-and-a-half (an important distinction at that age) when rebecca was born. i can vividly remember lying in my bed on the top bunk the night dad drove mom to the hospital, praying in all earnest that the baby would be a boy. i desperately wanted an older brother, but would have settled for a younger brother.

as it turned out, God knew that our family needed a rebecca rose. not a joseph kenneth.

growing up, the three of us girls had a ball together. we rode bikes during the spring and summer, spent days exploring the woods behind our house, built snowmen and snowforts and snow angels on snow-days. we played often with janie and kenneth. the five of us were mostly inseparable. they even helped us weed the flowers when we were grounded.

suzanne and i weren’t always the best big sisters. we bribed rebecca with “little monies” and convinced her to crunch the dead flies in the window sill as we waited for the school bus. she wanted so much to be a “big kid,” but we were always a step or two ahead. she did a great job keeping up as much as her little legs would allow.

rebecca brought laughter and joy to our house. she loves games and singing and playing. she cares deeply about what others are going through and will lend an ear regardless of the circumstances. she values family and will do anything for any of us.

even though as a kid and teenager i didn’t excel at being a big sister, rebecca has excelled at being a younger sister. she wants to be engaged in our lives and ask often about luke. she has taught me a lot about what it looks like to be a true friend to your family, that there is truth in the phase, blood is thicker than water. that’s especially true for rebecca. and i love her for it.

30til30: day 7, caden chastain

so, we took a great memorial day getaway to cloudcroft new mexico with several of our friends. i tried to get ahead and it just didn’t happened, so now i’m playing catch-up. i do plan to have this series wrapped up by monday (june 1!), i’m just not sure how all that is going to work out. but regardless, this was the post planned for monday, may 25.

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i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 7: caden chastain

with all my heart, i wish this wasn’t one of my 30 things.

last fall, our dear friends lost their precious baby girl. though i haven’t written much here, in many ways, i’m still processing caden’s short life and the impact her death has had on me. michael and i still have moments of grief, made fewer only by the fact that we are somewhat disconnected from our friends in indianapolis.

here are a few ways my life has changed as a result of caden’s life:

• i hold my own little boy tighter at night when i rock him
• i don’t cling to his life or the life of his sibling in utero
• i’m more easily moved by others walking through grief and i’m more likely to shoulder part of that grief
• i am often reminded that this life is not all there is; reality is coming!

because i really don’t feel i can do justice to something that so profoundly marked my life such a short time ago, here are the words to a song we sang at our palm sunday service at church. i cried throughout the entire song, and especially the last two verses, as i thought, this is every christian parent’s prayer for their child and it’s wholly true for caden.

my Jesus, i love Thee, i know Thou art mine;
for Thee all the follies of sin i resign.
my gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
if ever i loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

i love Thee because Thou has first loved me,
and purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree.
i love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
if ever i loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

i’ll love Thee in life, i will love Thee in death,
and praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
and say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
if ever i loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

in mansions of glory and endless delight,
i’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
i’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
if ever i loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

~william r. featherston

30til30: day 8, sherwin and julie

so, we took a great memorial day getaway to cloudcroft new mexico (more on that soon) with several of our friends. i tried to get ahead with this series and it just didn’t happened, so now i’m playing catch-up. i do plan to have it all wrapped up by monday (june 1!), i’m just not sure how all that is going to work out. but regardless, this was the post planned for sunday, may 24.

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i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 8: sherwin and julie

when i married michael, i was blessed to gain a sister. julie and i have never shared clothes, but we’re sisters nonetheless. and, just over two years ago when she married sherwin, i got my first brother (which, by the way, sherwin, i always wanted growing up…).

julie and sherwin add a lot of spice to michael’s and my life. we laugh together. play boggle together. cry together. eat cheesecake together. shop together. they are definitely a blessing to us. it’s nice to not be the only young woman when we’re with michael’s family.

it has been so fun to watch julie be an aunt to luke. even though we live over 1000 miles apart, she is an amazing aunt. when we’re together, she dotes on my son (note to adults without children: the single fastest way to the hearts of your friends with kids is to dote on their children). when we’re apart, she begs for photos of him. she just might brag about him more than i do. and i love it. i cannot wait until we get to watch her and sherwin be parents. someday in the future, that is…

julie was such an integral part of michael’s life while they were growing up – and as a result, a major part of my life. their childhood and friendship shaped much of who my husband is. and, it is a joy to be part of that now.

30til30: day 9, papa rick and momma c

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me.

this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 9: papa rick and momma c

i know that i cannot fully comprehend the blessing it is in my life that my in-laws are on this list in a positive way.

since i knew michael for so long before we got married, i have known his family for a long time, too. anyone who knows his parents will know this is crazy, but his mom used to intimidate me. i mean, when you’re starting to date a guy, who wouldn’t be intimidated by his mother, regardless of how sweet and kind and non-threatening she is?

papa rick and momma c did a phenomenal job raising michael and his sister. they instilled within him many of the values and convictions i also treasure and that we want to instill within our children. they parented with firmness and love, much the way we want to parent.

they have impacted me greatly as well. they encourage us and cheer us on, telling us we’re doing well raising luke. they pray for us.

and, even before luke was born, they adopted me as their own.

i will never forget our first christmas together married. we were about to celebrate our first anniversary. when we got to the christmas tree to open gifts, i was floored that i was being treated just like julie, like one of their children. i knew my parents had done the same for michael, but it blew my mind to be treated in the same way. in that moment, i felt more loved and accepted than i had the entire previous year.

momma c and papa rick have done a great job freeing us to be our own family. they don’t intrude or place expectations on us. which just might be the greatest gift they could give us.

papa rick and momma c, thanks for immediately adopting me as your own. i love you both.

30til30: day 10, kandice

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me.

this part of the list is in a specific order.

day 10: kandice

when michael and i lived in lafayette after we were married, i started spending time with kandice. she and bryan were married just five months after us and they were also involved in a collegiate ministry post-graduation. when i moved to lafayette to be near michael, i had to make all new friends. kandice was my first “peer” friend – not a student, not an older woman…right at my exact stage of life.

for some reason, i struggled with a lot of insecurity when michael and i first started to be friends with bryan and kandice. probably because i hadn’t had a true girlfriend in months, i struggled to not compare myself to her. kandice is beautiful and funny and a hoot to be around. she thinks deeply, asks tough questions and desires to walk closely with the Lord. i just wasn’t sure i could be as cool as she is.

but, as we became friends, i learned that it’s okay to be me. i don’t have to be just like kandice to be her friend. i have learned tons about contentment as i’ve grown closer to kandice.

she has been a dear sister to me as we’ve walked through several life-changes.

when michael and i were trying to decide whether to go to seminary or become full-time staff with our college ministry, bryan and kandice were contemplating going on ministry staff as well. we had actually decided it was something the four of us should do together…and then God directed us toward dallas. i was heartbroken to leave our friends.

though we live far apart, kandice has been a great friend over the last four years. we make it a priority to spend time together whenever michael and i are in indiana. she cheered me on as i entered motherhood and now i get to do the same for her…and it’s fun to be pregnant at the same time!

kandice has challenged, encouraged me and greatly spurred me on over the years – in leadership, as a wife, in my relationship with Christ. michael and i both have been given wonderful friends, but we only have a handful of best friends together – you know, couple friends we are both close to. we are blessed and honored to count bryan and kandice among those few.

30til30: day 11, purdue nav ladies, sarah, michelle and amanda

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 11: purdue nav ladies, sarah, michelle and amanda

when i was at purdue, i got to spend a lot of intentional time with three of the student women: sarah, michelle and amanda. i led bible studies with each of them and got to watch as God grew them in leadership and Christ-likeness. our relationships were one of the highlights of my time at purdue.

as a result of our friendships, i grew a lot as well. i’d never led an investigative bible study before. one semester, michelle invited several of her friends to come discover who Jesus was, particularly as he related with women, and to bring their questions about Christianity. it was so fun to see michelle’s boldness – and the time with the women served to sharpen me, as well, as i relate with and reach out to those who do not believe in Jesus Christ.

amanda and i connected and grew together as we walked through a lot of difficult stuff with her relationship with her boyfriend-now-husband. i had been where she was and could relate to her pain. we also had a lot of fun together as we led a bible study for upper class -women. i have lots of fun memories from that group – and their crazy antics.

i met weekly with sarah for an entire year and we also led a bible study together. when we first started meeting, sarah didn’t think she could lead a bible study. as we studied together and as we memorized verses together, it was so neat to watch the word of God transform her. as michael and i moved at the end of the school year, sarah was planning to lead another bible study in the fall…and train a younger woman to do the same.

the way i mentor, the way i lead is different because i got to spend time with these women. they are a huge part of the memories i treasure when i think about purdue.

30til30: day 12, reed and marian

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 12: reed and marian

as i’ve written about earlier, our church and our sunday school class has played a major role in our lives since moving to dallas. a huge part of that has been reed and marian.

reed and marian are the ages of our parents (roughly) and have children our age (their catherine is just several weeks older than me). they have been actively mentoring young couples for years. reed is the primary teacher of our sunday school class and marian leads our bi-monthly women’s bible study.

they have both had a profound impact on our lives. in many ways, they have been our parents in dallas. they have encouraged us and supported us and allowed us to learn from their years of marriage and parenting. they have honestly shared their lives with us – both the good and the bad – and been a great example of what it means to walk with the Lord for decades.

reed is the best motivator i know. this year, he and marian have established a reward system for those in our class who memorize scripture. for every 20-30 verses we each memorize, they will pay $500 per person toward a $2500 cruise we’ll all take at the end of the year. michael and i are so excited about going – and eagerly learning our verses.

but, there has been one specific way in which they have really ministered to us this last year.

about 25 years ago, reed and marian lost their daughter wendy in an automobile accident. though i know it must still be painful at times to talk about and we still see tears in their eyes on occasion, they have openly discussed the tragic circumstances and how it impacted their lives.

when we found out that our dear friends andy and cari lost their daughter caden last fall, reed was the first person michael called. reed doesn’t even know andy and cari but he cried on the phone with michael as my husband shared the news. his father’s heart broke with michael’s and remembered the pain that our friends were facing. over the weeks and months, reed and marian have spoken with us about what walking through grief was like for them and how we can support our friends, even from a distance.

keep praying, marian once said. that’s when it will get hard – when people stop praying.

i really believe that every young couple needs a reed and marian. they have deeply impacted our dallas-lives and the last four years wouldn’t have been the same without them.

30til30: day 13, marrying my love

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 13: marrying my love

there have been a small handful of specific days over the last 30 years that have changed my life. one day that i wouldn’t trade for the world has been marrying my love and best friend, michael.

we got married on a beautiful december day five years ago. for a midwest winter day, the weather was perfect: sunny and in the 50s. we were young and didn’t understand enough to know that we didn’t yet love each other. not really, anyway. but it was the single happiest day of my life.

the day is somewhat a blur. i got ready at the church with my sisters and bride’s maids. i didn’t see michael until my dad walked me down the aisle. and then, all i saw was him. our pastor spoke about finding fulfillment first in Christ so that we could love and serve each other. we said some vows. lit a candle. kissed.

and then the party began.

michael and i often talk about how much fun we had at our reception. how every wedding we've attended since has paled in comparison to the fun we had at our wedding. it wasn’t anything fancy, but we were surrounded by all the people we loved most. and we knew everyone there. everyone, all 200-something-odd people, were promising to love and support us and help us as we figured out this new relationship.

we’ve certainly not been without struggles or disagreements. but, marrying this man has been the second best decision i’ve ever made (stay tuned for the best decision…). he challenges me. he sharpens me. he loves me. he is more than i ever dreamed possible in a husband.

i am blessed to be his.

i love you, babe.

30til30: day 14, serving as a CARES team

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 14: serving as a CARES team

michael and i (and luke) got home about 45 minutes ago from hosting a cook-out (or affectionately and creatively, a chill & grill) for our neighbors. all 224 are invited. this time, about 50 came. that’s a lot of people in two hours. more accurately, that’s 42 hamburgers, 8 hotdogs and 20 sausages.

in august, we’ll celebrate our fourth year of planning events and being the hub of community for our neighbors in our apartments. it’s been a lot of fun. very challenging. but also extremely rewarding.

in exchange for a free two bedroom/two bath apartment, we commit to serving our neighbors (through event planning and other avenues) for 70 hours a month (total, not each). there are certainly times that we don’t want to plan an event, but have to. there are days that we’re tired of interacting with people, but can’t become hermits. it’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

it’s worth it because we’re teaching luke that life isn’t only about him, that it’s worth the sacrifice to make an intentional effort to serve others and impact their lives.

it’s worth it because last week we got to buy a can-opener and kroger gift card for moe, a neighbor struggling financially, and connect her to the food bank at our church.

it’s worth it because we get to see our neighbors create new categories for christians who genuinely love them but disagree with the lifestyles they’ve chosen and the choices they’re making.

it’s worth it because we daily get to be the hands and feet of Jesus as we live our lives here.

we’ve learned a lot: how to throw an event together, without killing each other (we’ve had some serious arguments over the thickness of pancake batter; don't knock it until you've been there); what it looks like to serve together; what each other’s strengths are as we reach out to the people around us.

it has been a fun ride. when michael gets a job, it will be over for us. as much as i won’t miss the daily grind of community building, i will miss our neighbors and the staff we work with. being CARES team has changed my life and changed the way i see people. it’s definitely changed the way i live my life as i seek to intentionally be a follower of Christ.

30til30: day 15, white rock marathon

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 15: white rock marathon

in december, i ran the white rock marathon, something i’d never had ambitions to do. it kind of fell into my lap, and though i would have been happy passing it on, i kept at it.

and i learned a lot.

physically, i learned that i am capable of pushing my body, of setting goals and achieving them. every time i had a good run, i’d grow in confidence and my ability to complete the full marathon. training for and running the marathon was one of the most difficult things i’ve done in a very long time. and i’m glad i did it (though i had to be pushed to start it).

but i learned a lot spiritually, too. you see, training for a marathon is a lot like running the spiritual race.

as i trained for the marathon, i did most all of my long runs with my friend kiley. running with her literally kept me going on mornings i would have preferred to stay in bed. most of time, i’d sleep poorly the night before we’d meet for an early morning (read: 5am) long run. if i’d been training alone, i wouldn’t have finished the training – i’d have stayed in bed.

sometimes, our spiritual life is like that. if i’m not surrounded by friends who are running at my pace, or even pushing me to go just a little faster, i’m likely to quit. life gets hard and, when there is no accountability, it doesn’t feel worth it to put in the long hours of “training” when you wake up tired.

also, i learned the value of new shoes and “running to win.” i knew from the beginning that i’d never be close to winning a 26.2 mile race. in fact, i’d be thrilled to not be last to cross the finish line. there are things in running that would slow me down or even take me out – old shoes, for example. i started training with a pair of shoes that weren’t well-suited for my feet. after a few weeks, my knees started to hurt. it was vital that i buy new (and expensive…*sigh*) shoes that fit me well so that didn’t injure myself. i also needed to run with a plan. if i didn’t have a plan in mind, i never would have been able to finish the race. i wouldn’t have been conditioned to run what was required.

spiritually, life is like that as well. i have to make sacrifices, throw aside encumbrances, if i want to be in it for the long haul. if i’m not willing to make the investment, i won’t go very far. i also have to have a plan for how i’m going to get across the finish line. God will certainly use things i never imagined to grow me in Christ-likeness, but if i don’t have a plan, i’m selling myself short. and i won’t be conditioned to finish the race.

and lastly, i had to keep the goal in mind. when i forgot why i was training, i got easily discouraged. at the end of one training run, while kiley was tacking on another mile, i met two men who were training for their second marathon. they had passed us while we were finishing up and encouraged me to keep training, to keep running, to keep my eyes on the prize. they knew what it felt like to finish a marathon and challenged me to continue to go the distance because i could.

as we walk with Christ, it’s vital that we, too, remember the goal. it’s not happiness or comfort or prosperity. it’s to be changed into his image. we focus on Christ, our goal, so that we won’t grow weary and lose heart.

therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has set down at the right hand of the throne of God. for consider him who endured much hostility by sinners against himself so that you would not grow weary and lose heart.

hebrews 12:1-3

30til30: day 16, diane k.

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 16: diane k.

i have wonderful parents who did many things right. but, until i got married and started thinking of beginning our own family, i didn’t think much about how they parented. and, at that point, it was difficult to look back and remember exactly the ways my parents did things.

and, being so far removed from the raising-young-children gig, they don’t always remember how they did things, either.

which is why i’m so grateful for diane. along with reed and marian, gary and diane are the mentoring couples for our young married sunday school class. together, diane and marian lead a bible study for the women in our class.

last summer, we focused on parenting.

i have learned tons from diane and might not be as intentional with our children as i am without her influence. our bible study last summer gave michael and me a foundation to begin to discuss ideas and paradigms we’d never before discussed. and, as we have now entered toddlerhood, i’m so thankful that he and i are on the same page!

mostly, diane has influenced the way i choose to intentionally discipline our children. she’s given me words to use, concepts to employ and the boldness to begin now.

i appreciate diane because she’s honest and real. she doesn’t try to lead us to believe she’s done everything “right.” she shares with us the times she should have done things differently. and, she’s available. just the other week, she and i had a long discussion about luke’s eating habits and how to encourage him to eat a larger variety of food -- without getting into a power-struggle.

because our parents are so far away and aren’t daily involved in our lives, it’s encouraging to have older friends, one or two or three steps ahead of us, who do see us more regularly and can affirm that we’re doing okay with this parenting deal. diane has been one of those friends for me.

30til30: day 17, barb h.

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 17: barb h.

i was 16 when we started attending grace church. it had been a rough couple years for me, as far as looking for a place to belong and figuring out my relationship with my parents. i had been burned by christians and needed to see genuine love within the church. and, as i wrote about earlier, i found that at grace evangelical church.

part of the change for me was being completely accepted by my peers, friends who didn’t focus on outward appearances and material possessions. it was refreshing and life-changing.

the other, perhaps more vital, part of the change for me was having adults aside from my parents strongly involved in my life. barb was one of those women who deeply impacted me.

i remember singing in the “choir” with barb. she encouraged me as i first learned to cultivate my relationship with Christ. she and her husband ken were the first adults to challenge me to memorize scripture as a teenager. and, she helped me work through a lot of the difficulties i thought i faced at home.

i still remember one of those conversations. actually, i don’t remember what we discussed, but i clearly remember barb taking time to sit on the steps outside with me after the church service and talk through my teenage angst. whatever she said, i left with a better grasp of how to honor and respect my parents – an area where i still had a lot of room to grow.

the grace evangelical church family played a huge role in bringing me up in the Lord. as she casually discipled and mentored me, God allowed barb to play a large role in my growth as a young follower of Christ.

30til30: day 18, noah's ark

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 18: noah’s ark

as a sophomore in college, i was an r.a. in the freshmen women’s dorm. though i lived across campus from the majority of my friends, i loved the energy and enthusiasm of the women who lived on my floor. that year, three of the women had attended high school together. when they arrived on campus, they were still excited about the senior trip they had taken that summer to noah’s ark, an outdoor adventure company in colorado.

it wasn’t the first time i’d hear of noah’s ark. my roommate had friends who’d worked there and her mother had recommended i look into working there as well. at the time, i wasn’t interested. but as i heard more from lori, rachael and leanne, i decided it was something i wanted to do.

when i arrived at noah’s ark at the end of may, i had never before been whitewater rafting. the first time i rode in a canoe at age five, i cried throughout the entire trip, much to my parents’ chagrin. and here i was, thinking i could brave the rapids every day to safely deliver risk-seekers to their destinations. i remember standing by the river for the first time, looking out across the expanse of water, wondering, what was i thinking?

i had a lot of fun at noah’s. rafting was hard work – i used muscles i didn’t know i had. it was also humbling for me. as guides, we had to train for at least 60 hours on the river (noah’s guides trained for closer to 100 hours) and pass a “solo” guide test before we were allowed to take regular paying passengers. i was the last of our class to pass my solo guide.

but by God’s grace, i learned to conquer my apprehensions and fears and have fun on the river. i mastered some of the hardest rapids we ran and had a lot of fun pushing myself. and, there’s nothing like suffering hypothermia and facing death with someone to knit you closely together. our guide class had a blast challenging each other and learning together.

in addition to rafting, we also backpacked and rock climbed. leading groups of teenagers, without cellphones, computers or watches, into the colorado backcountry was thrilling to me each time i went. climbing 14-thousdand foot mountains and sliding down glaciers was exciting. spending five day stretches playing in God’s creation gave this mid-western kid a love for the beauty of the earth i’d not developed.

at noah’s, i learned the difference between being a thrill seeker and an adventure taker. i am the latter. i love adventure, but do not seek out thrill, like many of my coworkers did. i continued to grow as a leader as i made choices that affected people who relied on me for safety and security. and i had fun experiencing God in the depth of the colorado rockies.

30til30: day 19, fellowship sunday school class

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 19: the fellowship sunday school class

when michael and i first moved to dallas, it took us six months to find a church. we had no strong denominational ties and compared every church we visited to the church we’d come from in indiana (bad move, by the way…). once we were able to allow the strengths of each church to stand alone, we settled at first baptist.

the next challenge was finding a sunday school class to plug into. we knew this was a vital part of being members of a church, but i honestly don’t think we knew how instrumental it would be in our lives.

we started systematically (because that’s how my husband operates) visiting young married sunday school classes. several times, we were shocked to walk into the class and realize that young married meant we’ve been married 15 years and have teenagers, but still see ourselves as 20-somethings. the members were all welcoming, but we just didn’t fit. we had no children; they had 13-year-olds.

one then day, we walked into the fellowship class. and, we never left.

from the moment we entered, i knew it’s where i wanted to be. from the moment i met andrea and stephanie, i knew i wanted to be their friend. that sounds a little love at first sight-ish, but i mean it. it was the first time since moving to dallas that i met someone i thought fit me as a friend.

michael and i made sunday school a priority because we knew it was vital to our spiritual life. what we didn’t know what just how foundational the class would be in our life here. not only have girls in the class become my best dallas friends, they have loved and served us beyond what we ever thought would happen. michael has loved teaching the class with reed. they have fed and clothed us (literally bringing meals to us after luke was born, passing along clothes when i was pregnant and as their sons have out-grown clothes, throwing us a baby shower that included half-dozen cloth diapers…the list could go on). they have prayed with us and supported us. they have helped us raise and care for our son. they have encouraged us as we prepare for ministry.

this class has become our family when we had none nearby. and for two "orphaned" kids, that has meant the world.

michael and i are forever grateful.

30til30:day 20, karate

obviously, i'm a little behind with the 30til30. our weekend was much busier than we anticipated and michael and i are both still exhausted (i took a three-hour nap today and still feel worn out). i intend to post days 21 and 22, just not tonight. you can look for them over the next week. but, don't miss them, especially if your name is lisa.

i have 30 days until i celebrate my 30th year of life. i thought i would share with you 30 people, events and situations that have shaped my life and who i want to be. it has been very challenging to come up with 30…i hope it inspires you as it has me. this part of the list is in no particular order.

day 20: karate

i was nine-years-old when my dad came home with a surprise for me: i had “won” three free karate lessons as a studio not far from home. unknown to me, he had entered me in a “contest” (in which every kid won). i was ecstatic. for years, i had watched teenage mutant ninja turtles (heros in a half-shell) and daniel-san and dreamed of being able to do the tricks they did.

of course, there was a catch.

i had to run three-miles without stopping.

i accomplished the task with minimal training, which is a story unto itself.

i don’t know if karate was something i immediately excelled at – my parents didn’t push me, so i only attended class once or twice a week. but, i do know that over time, it was something i got to be good at. very good, in fact. my sensei saw potential in me and asked my dad if i could compete.

when i was 13, i went to my first national tournament. at 14, in addition to a knocked-up jaw, i took home a bronze medal from nationals. i won my age division the next three years. competing is fun, it’s in my blood. and i loved this sport.

when i was 14, i began teaching classes as an assistant. shortly after that, i took over the 4- and 5-year-olds. as a 16-year-old, my friend john, my boss’s son, and i ran our studio for a time. i quit a prestigious job at chick-fil-a asking, do you want fries with that? in order to pick up more hours teaching each week.

and i trained hard. during competition season, our team would give up saturday afternoons for training, in addition to regular training during the week. i remember once coming home with an ugly fist-sized bruise on my upper left arm. my dad wasn’t impressed and told me i couldn’t go back if it happened again. and so, i learned not to get beat.

i learned a lot at the studio. during some rough teenage years, it was a place i could belong. teaching karate lessons was something none of my friends could do and so it gave me something to be proud of. teaching lessons was my first lesson in managing people. my first lessons in genuine leadership happened at the studio, too, as i watch my instructor and followed his footsteps as i taught my own classes.

the biggest thing i gained from karate is discipline. that probably sounds rather cliché, but it’s entirely true. though we trained as a team, karate is not a team sport. though my sensei could coach me from the sideline, he couldn’t land my kicks or make my blocks effective. if i wasn’t disciplined in my training, i wouldn’t succeed.

running those three miles as a nine-year-old was a great introduction to what would be the next eight years of my life. and it was worth every step.