a front porch entrance: my perspective

the birth story of ava marie

aug. 25-26, 2009

with ava, unlike luke, i began having very mild, random contractions about 10 days before she was born. several times, i would contract for about an hour early each morning before getting up, and once contracted all afternoon. these contractions were noticeable, but never painful, probably just strong braxton hicks.

on tuesday, aug. 25, i had my 39w5d appointment. i declined an internal exam, but talked with our midwife about making sure i wasn’t pregnant at 41 weeks. she felt like it was crucial for me to have the baby before then. so, she schedule me for an appointment the following monday to “stir things up” and included an appointment for an NST with their consulting physician. i was disappointed to have to look at these steps, but wanted to make sure we were doing the best for our baby.

that evening, my sister suzanne and her fiancé jerry came over for dinner. we had a great time and luke loved playing with jerry. our home was filled with laughter. they didn’t stay long, but at some point during dinner, i began having contractions that were short, but very uncomfortable. i didn’t mention it to suzanne, who was planning to be at the birth, because i didn’t want to jinx myself, but told michael as soon as they left.

after cleaning up, we laid down to watch a movie, babbette’s feast. during the movie, i timed contractions. they were lasting about 30 seconds, but were only 10 minutes apart. after the movie, we packed the rest of our bags for the birth center and went to bed around 11pm.

i fell asleep quickly after realizing the contractions had spaced out to 20 minutes apart. i was bummed because i thought labor was fizzling. i figured i’d wake up in the morning, like normal, and we’d go on about our life. in fact, michael had planned a “fun day” for our family. despite being disappointed about labor dying down, i was looking forward to spending the next afternoon with my “men.”

i woke up suddenly at 2:33am. i might have been having a contraction, but what i realized was that i had to go to the bathroom. as i left the bathroom, i had a really strong contraction that had me leaning on the sink and breathing deeply. i woke up michael to help me keep track of the time. i had another contraction 10 minutes later that was equally as strong. and then, they started coming five minutes apart, lasting 30-40 seconds.

during this time, michael decided to take several trips to our car with our bags – we had a lot since luke was going with us to the birth center and would likely still be asleep. at the time, i didn’t think his trips were necessary, but i’m so glad now that we didn’t have to worry about everything when we were ready to leave.

we timed contractions for an hour – i tried to lie down, but spent most of that time on my birth ball. after an hour at 4am, we called our midwife cherie. we chatted for awhile, she listened to me through a couple contractions. since she wasn’t the midwife to deliver luke, she asked about how long i’d pushed with him. because i’d had a lip of cervix, i ended up pushing about 1.5 hours, which is what i told her. however, once that lip was gone, i pushed about three times, which is the information she wanted.

if i had known to tell her that, the story might not have been as exciting.

at that point, my contractions were very painful, but i only felt them low in my uterus. cherie wanted us to call back when the contractions were higher and longer – she told me that would probably be an hour or two. she also recommended i take a bath.

i was thrilled with the prospect of a hot bath, so that’s what i did. michael grabbed a chair and sat with me in the bathroom timing the length of contractions. i wasn’t as comfortable in the tub as i’d remembered being with luke (looking back, i’m sure i was much farther along in labor at this point than i was when i took a bath in labor with luke) and so, i didn’t stay in the bath long. i got dressed, and leaned against the ball instead. at this point, i kept wondering, sometimes out loud, why we didn’t choose to go to the hospital so i could have an epidural. i also wanted to be at the birth center instead of at home – labor felt much more intense than i remembered and i wanted the support of our birth team.

around 4:30 or 4:45, i started to feel really panicky during contractions. i also told michael i thought i might throw up. i had to hold his hand or touch him during each contraction so that I stayed “grounded” and focused through the pain. still, i was only feeling contractions low and they were varying between 45 and 60 seconds, but not consistent. in hindsight, i’m pretty sure this was transition (the panicky feeling especially makes me think that). however, michael didn’t think to be looking for it already and i didn’t have enough cognitive awareness to recognize it myself.

we called cherie at 5am. she asked if i was ready, and said i was. she told me she was dressed and would meet us at the center. we had farther to drive than she did, so i never thought to call her when things picked up. i also should have told her initially I was feeling a lot of pressure in my bottom and that i was feeling panicky. however, for some reason, those things didn’t cross my mind. i just wanted to get to the center.

michael finished gathering a few things while i rocked on the ball. at some point about five or ten minutes after i talked to cherie, right as he was getting up luke, things changed for me – i needed to push. i looked at him abruptly and said, we need to leave NOW.

we practically ran out the door. i remember michael asking me to grab luke’s small backpack (which i normally carry when he carries luke) and i couldn’t. we live on the fourth floor and had to walk down a long hall to the elevator and then back down another hall to our car. i had three contractions during that time, including one in the elevator; michael says they were about two minutes apart. the entire time, i knew we had to hurry and tried to convey that to michael without yelling at him.

the drive to the birth center, which is 15 minutes, was excruciating; i felt every bump and every pothole. with every contraction, i tried to breathe deeply and to not push, but they were awful. like many women say, it really felt like a freight train moving through my body and i could do little to stop it, especially while seated in the passenger’s seat! while driving, michael called both sets of parents and my sisters – including suzanne who was meeting us at the center. the whole ride, i was encouraging him to run red lights, which he did, and get there as fast as he could.

right before we got to the center, i had a contraction that required me to push. at that point, my water also broke. fortunately, it didn’t gush yet. as michael stopped the car, i jumped out and almost ran up the stairs to the porch. he later told me he thought i was going to get sick. i was surprised to find the house dark and the door locked. i couldn’t figure out why cherie hadn’t turned on the lights, which is now funny to me.



i kept telling michael, this baby is coming, this baby is coming. i think he knew things were serious when we got in the car, but it obviously wasn’t until then that either of us thought we might have an unassisted birth. i was scared to be just the two of us, but knew i couldn’t NOT push. i pulled my pants to my knees and knelt and leaned on a bench on the porch. michael considered calling 911 because we were only three blocks from a major hospital, but called cherie instead (the time stamp on his cell phone was 5:38am; we'd been on the porch only a minute or two). she was four blocks away and sped toward us. at that point, i asked michael to help me take my pants all the way off. i felt the baby’s head and knew i couldn’t stop her from being born. it makes me laugh now to remember that all i kept saying, over and over, was this baby is coming.

because it wasn’t even 5:40am, it was still dark, but dawn was approaching. all of a sudden, cherie was on the porch with us. she told us that when she got to the porch, the baby’s head was almost out; she could almost feel the ears. she and michael helped me to sit back and with one more half push, ava was born. cherie later told us that ava had her cord around her neck fairly tightly; i’m so thankful cherie made it in time to catch her. in that moment, neither of us would have thought to look for that. we estimated her time of birth to be 5:40am, based on the time michael called cherie.

as a funny side note, when i jumped out of the car, michael wasn’t sure what to do with luke. so, he rolled down the window and left him in the back seat, buckled into his car seat. cherie didn’t realize he was there and told us she thought his cries were from a cat in heat.

because of our location, cherie ran inside to grab supplies while michael and i tried to get ava to cry (she did finally whimper). we immediately cut the cord so we could be moved. cherie gave the baby to michael and helped me inside without making a mess. this was the point where michael was most scared – he was left with the baby, whose face was bruised from being born so quickly and with her cord around her neck, and cherie was tending to me. we later talked to her about it and she said she wasn’t at all concerned for the baby because she had made noise and breathed. her main concern at that point was getting all of us inside so she could see and assess ava from there.

suzanne also arrived right after avaa was born. cherie had her run inside before us to strip the comforter and pillows off the bed. then, she got luke from the car and set him up in his pack ‘n play. cherie did have to warm ava and suction her mouth, but she still apgar-ed at 9s, despite her completely bruised face. fortunately, the bruising faded quickly and was almost gone by the time we left the birth center, six hours after birth.

a lot of my mom friends with two children told me how it wasn’t “love at first sight” with their second child. michael and i can relate to that: though we loved ava before she was born, we weren’t in love with her the moment we met her. but it only took a day before we were head-over-heels for this little girl. she’s our little lady.

in honor of, well, labor day

yes, yes, yes...baby girl, ava marie (blog pseudonym -- if you know us and want to know her real name, just email; if you know her real name already, please use her pseudonym when you comment), was born last wednesday! and, since we have a newborn, i thought it would be appropriate to participate in this meme.

i will be posting her birth story, as soon as i've had a chance to finish it. however, michael's version of the story is sure to be more exciting. and, he'd really love it if you commented on his blog...plus, he's already posted the first several parts (yes, there are parts...). check it out.

if you're interested in participating in this meme, let me know, and also go post a comment at rocks in my dryer. c'mon...it'll be fun!

How long were your labors?

luke: nine hours
ava: three hours (yes, it's an exciting story).

How did you know you were in labor?

luke: contractions that began gradually that morning picked up around dinner time (while we were enjoying dinner with good friends).
ava: i woke up at 2:30 to go to the bathroom and had a lean-on-the-sink-so-i-don't-pass-out contraction on my way back to bed. it was fast and furious from there.

Where did you deliver?

both at the birth center, though ava was almost born at home. on accident.

Drugs?

nope, though with ava, i kept asking michael, "why aren't we going to the hospital again?"

C-section?

nope

Who delivered?

our midwives, carol (with luke) and cherie (with ava), though michael came within about two minutes of delivering ava. i tell you, it's a great story.

she made her entrance into this world in her own way...i have a feeling she's going to add a little drama to our small family!

Here you go!

The Birth of Lukas
October 23-24, 2007

Being a first-time mom, I had no idea what labor would be like – no one can prepare you for how true contractions feel. Labor was not at all what I was expecting, but despite how tough it was, it was also extremely rewarding and awe-inspiring. I’m so thankful we chose to have a natural child birth!

Sunday, October 21, Michael and I were watching the Ken Burns WWII special on PBS. As I laid on the love seat, I realized that every ten minutes or so, my tummy was tightening, like my bicep would when I make a fist. It would get really hard for about 45 seconds. I paid attention to the clock for about an hour and then told Michael about my discovery. We timed them for another hour as we watch the documentary and then proceeded to pack all of our bags for the birth center (which we had yet to do). We finally made it to bed around 1am. I slept really well.

On Monday when I woke up around 7:30, I was still feeling these “tightenings” every ten minutes or so. I convinced Michael to stay home from his meetings and work and we spent the day together waiting for something to happen. Late morning, I went for a walk on the treadmill and mid-afternoon, we went for a walk around the mall (it was raining so we couldn’t really walk together outside). By the time we got home and had a little dinner, I was feeling “achy” during the tightenings. Around 9:30, after timing what I thought were contractions for about an hour, I called our midwife Cherie and chatted with her. She recommended I take a hot bath and get some good sleep because I might see her the next day – a nice way to tell me I wasn’t rapidly approaching labor!

Since things weren’t progressing super quickly (or even at all necessarily), Michael went to class Tuesday morning. I had my weekly appointment with midwife Carol and was planning to pick Michael up from campus. During the morning, I noticed that the “discomfort” that went with the tightenings was starting to be more noticeable than the tightening itself. I don’t get bad period cramps, and these early contractions were by now more painful than menstrual cramps. I had three contractions on the way to meet Michael, a 15-20 minute drive.

Our appointment went great. For the first time, I had actually made progress, which really encouraged me even though I know it doesn’t mean much. I was 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. As I was 40w 6d, Carol offered to sweep my membranes and get things moving. At this point, I was pretty sure I was going to start active labor that day (though I didn’t say that because I was afraid of being wrong) and we declined. We were still content, we said, to wait it out and see what happened.

Michael and I left our appointment after taking a ton of photos around the birth center (a Victorian-style house) and adjacent park – it was a beautiful day! We sold his car, went to the grocery and headed home. I took a bath, we both took naps, and when I woke up around 4:30, I was definitely approaching active labor. I began to realize that these contractions were about five minutes apart and 30 second long. And, they were really uncomfortable. Around 5pm, Michael talked to Joe who was offering to bring by dinner (and their car which we were buying) and hang out for a bit. We agreed they could stay for dinner as long as they were okay with the fact that I could no longer talk through contractions – I was focusing too much on breathing deeply. They hung out with us for about 45 minutes while we ate I bounced on my birth ball and timed contractions. It was fun to have the diversion. At this point, the contractions were 3-5 minutes and 40-50 seconds.

As they were about to leave, I called Carol. She told me to take a hot bath, continue timing the contractions and call her in 45 minutes. Even relaxing in the bath, I could tell my contractions were lengthening. Michael sat on the floor and timed them for me. We called Carol, who thought it’d be good to check me, and we agreed to meet at the birth center at 8pm. Everything felt so surreal. I could hardly believe that we were actually approaching the birth of our son! As Michael scurried to get everything together, I rocked on the birth ball. The contractions were requiring a lot of focus during them, but I was talkative and able to help him between them. I had several contractions on the way to the birth center and one big one as we were walking up the steps. Carol watched from the doorway and I remember her saying, “Well, that’s a good sign!” We went upstairs where she checked me – 4cms and 100% effaced! Active labor for sure.

We went downstairs to the main birthroom where Carol had already lit tons of candles. I remember recognizing how pretty and calm everything was. The lights were soft, the candles flickered. Michael set up his computer and turned on my playlist while I waited for Carol to prep the antibiotic (I was GBS+). As I waited for the two of them to get everything ready and settled, I knelt on the floor and leaned on the birth ball. I sang to the songs playing (one of the only times I really recognized the music) which really calmed me. And, the three of us chatted between contractions. After Carol gave me the antibiotic via injection, I asked if I could run a bath. She started to say yes, and then caught herself and told me she’d be glad for me to get in the bath, but she’d draw it for me. Our entire birth team was that way. I felt so cared for, even in the midst of great pain. Even when I didn’t realize what was happening around me, they all catered to me and did what was best for me. We couldn’t have done it without them.

Stepping into the hot bath was heavenly. I immediately felt my body relax. Michael later teased me because several weeks before I was debating how “modest” I would be during labor – anticipating that I’d be fairly modest until things got intense – but as soon as I was able, I was naked and in the bathtub. I was in the tub for awhile, maybe an hour. Michael sat on the floor and talked to me. I was really surprised at how easily I could engage between contractions. I really expected to be much more “in the zone” throughout the entire labor.

After awhile in the tub, I decided I wanted to get out. It wasn’t yet 10pm. Carol checked me again – 6cm. I think I squatted a few times at the end of the bed. Beverly had arrived by that time and she or Carol suggested I either walk or sit on the toilet. I wasn’t feeling like a walk, so I opted for the toilet. By this time, the contractions were so strong that I felt I needed someone to hold my hand as each one came. Some were really intense, but I was still talking in between. I kept thinking, Surely this is transition. I remember moaning really loudly through some of them and Beverly helped me to better direct the way I was breathing. Suzanne also arrived during this time. I wasn’t sure I would be comfortable with her seeing me naked (at this point, I was wearing only a tank top) so we hadn’t originally invited her to the birth. But, I decided if she was okay with it, I was too. She opted to stay and I’m really glad she was able to be there.

After awhile on the toilet (an hour or so), I needed to move again. I got up and Carol asked me to “hop” up on the bed again so she could check me. It was 11pm. At this point, I was 7cm and my bag of waters was bulging. She felt it would be a good idea to go ahead and break my water. Michael and I agreed. (Michael and Carol had a “bet” as to when the baby would be born – he said midnight, she said 1am. When she broke my water, she was certain Michael would win the bet.) I remember the gush and thinking it wasn’t as much as I’d expected. They encouraged me to walk around the room a few times. I made it twice when I decided I needed to squat more. I hated squatting, but knew my body needed to do it.

Around this point, I was no longer able to “synthesize” what was happening between contractions. For about an hour and a half I held on to the bed post and squatted with each contraction. Michael sat on a stool behind me and supported my back and stroked my arms. I quickly felt the urge to push which Carol and Beverly encouraged me to do. I remember wondering, how long is this going to last?! Carol and Beverly took turns “checking” me as I squatted. They believed I had a lip of cervix that wasn’t moving, so they would try to support me during each contraction and so the last lip would move. At one point, Beverly was actually laying on her back with half of her body underneath the bed. If I hadn’t been in so much pain, I think it would have been humorous to see!

I remember telling them how much it hurt and how much I didn’t want to squat or want their hands up in me. It all hurt, but I knew there wasn’t any way around it. I remember Michael telling me over and over I was doing a great job and Carol telling me a lot that I was doing a great job pushing – good strong pushes, they said. Finally, they thought the baby was getting ready to crown and so they helped me up on the bed.

The rest happened so fast. He started to crown and they showed me a mirror, though at that point I really didn’t care about what was happening, I was just ready to be done. Michael later told me he thought he had a lot of time, so he’d picked up a camera to take pictures. Carol was talking through the baby’s birth and I remember her saying she could see his forehead or eyebrows. Before I knew it, she was supporting his shoulders. Suddenly, Carol told Michael, If you’re going to catch this baby, you’d better get over here! From crowning to being on my chest was about five minutes. In fact, I really didn’t have time to prepare emotionally! Before I knew it, I had a whimpering baby boy on my chest. It was 12:46am. Because of the lip of cervix, Michael lost the bet.

Of course, I was in love at first sight. He is perfect in every way. I never noticed his head, but Michael’s first thought was, He has a tumor! even though he knew he’d have a cone-head at birth. He didn’t cry right away, but he was making whimpering noises, so no one seemed to care. He didn’t nurse right away either, but we lay together for about an hour. It was bliss.

I ended up needing over an hour’s worth of suturing for several second-degree tears. That, perhaps ironically, was the worst part of the entire evening. Labor and birth were more difficult than I ever expected, but every time I look at that baby boy, it was all worth it. And, I’d do it again naturally in a heart beat.

Here's a fun photo of me and Lukas right after he was born. I am working on posting our birth story, but am having issues with the document. Grrr . . . hopefully, I'll get that up soon.

Enjoy the picture! I'll add some more when I have a chance to get them from Michael's computer.