bittersweet (ˈbi-tər-ˌswēt): pleasant but including suffering or regret

when you first hold your newborn baby boy, you don't think about what life will be like two or three years down the road.

at least, i didn't.

over the last ten days, luke (2) has made all kinds of "big boy" transitions. he's officially and completely given up the woobie. last night, he asked to sleep on the futon instead of in his crib...and he stayed on the futon until michael went into his room a little after 7am this morning (he also napped there today and didn't get up). and, he peed on the potty three times today.

my life is about to drastically change.

as i look at ava, it's hard to imagine what life will be like when she's two. it's so hard to look down the road and remember that i won't always be sleep deprived. my life won't always revolve around her three-hour routine. i won't always have to carry her everywhere we go.

in a flash, she'll be potty-trained, walking and talking (probably non-stop) and i'll mostly get a full-night's sleep every night. can you imagine?!

i'm thrilled for luke to be growing up; i'm so proud of him!

but, as i told michael last night, i'm a little sad for myself; i'm sad to be losing a little bit of my baby. so for now, i'm going to reval in all things baby girl.